I understand it is midway through the month but I thought it would be interesting to do a life update. This week is finals week and I have a final month. To be honest, I am very worried about it. I do understand the material but I tend to get very nervous when it comes to tests. On the bright side, I am done with university after this term but I'm very concerned about my future. I understand it is normal but I have always been taught to always be happy so I'm not very good at dealing with stress. When I get stressed, I tend to remember some of my childhood memories. Lately, memories of my life in middle school has been coming back and they aren't the most fondest memories. Watching my old videos have been reminding me of it as well. It frustrates me how bad the quality of my videos were and how I didn't work more harder to perfect them. Basically, all the videos that I uploaded in middle school, I would just basically throw away the entire project and start over if they were this bad now. To be honest, I can see why people said they were karaoke instead of covers.
Memories of my dad telling me that I don't have to do anything has been coming back as well and that has been a huge factor of my stress. When I was in elementary school and middle school, he basically did not want me to do any extracurricular activities because it cost money. Due to this, I have very bad anxiety of doing anything and that has sort of affected my ability to find a job or any opportunity after university. I understand that I sound very privileged and someone who doesn't have the money to do anything should be more desperate to find a job in order to have a better life but my dad honestly took away any sort of will to live for myself. When I did tell my dad this, he got mad at me and told me that he hates it when people think they have to live for him. Yet, he would get mad if I don't cook or do any sort of activity such as Pokemon Go or write an original song with him.
